I am passionate about helping women
like you Find freedom around
their weight and body
I want you to know that I have not dieted in over 15 years. I do not restrict myself from any food unless I am allergic or sensitive to it, and I eat intuitively.
This means I eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full and I know how to listen to my body cues to tell me what to eat.
My weight is very stable and I do not experience any extreme food cravings or guilt from eating. I am in total peace with food and I am able to enjoy food fully and with pleasure. I go shopping, I go swimming, and I like what I see in the mirror!
I FEEL SEXY.
But that has not always been the case.
My father put me on my first diet when I was 11 years old.
He had not seen me in three years and the first thing I heard him say was “why are you so fat?” And on that day, for the first time I learned that in order to be loved and accepted, I had to look acceptable and that meant being thin. Ilearned that unless I was thin, I would not be loved.
The diet my dad put me on was very restrictive and included a lot of exercise. (Do any of you remember the book “Fit for Life?” it taught food combining and tons of exercise). Yeah, that was the diet my father chose for me (Awesome right?)
Let me ask you this: Does this story sound familiar? Does anyone else here have a memory of a parent or relative doing something like this to you as a kid?
Yeah, it’s really common. Many of the women I work with have stories like this.
It taught me I had to follow very strict rules if I wanted to be fit and if I broke these very specific rulesI would be a total failure and out of shape for the rest of my life.
This set the stage for the battle I had with food from that day forward. Because, initially I lost a good amount of weight and my father was very very pleased with “himself” and very accomplished with “his success” in my weight loss.. We ate a lot of salmon and skinless chicken with vegetables. I was taught, and truly believed that I had to eat to live and not live to eat. I learned that I do not deserve pleasure from food because I was fat. I had to punish myself with diet food and exercise day in and day out.
The problem was, besides the fact that I was way too young to be on such a restrictive diet, is that I was hungry and felt deprived.
And this is what started me on a binge/and restrict cycle, sneaking food and then punishing myself for eating with more diets and more exercising, binge eating and developing a full blown compulsive eating disorder. I became a food addict. I must have lost and gained over 300lbs in my life. Food was always a source of shame and punishment. I avoided shopping, social occasions, going to the beach and pool.
Life was miserable all the time.
I did not experience any joy or pleasure. Everything was filtered thought my weight number. I weighed 180 lbs by the age of 14 and 224 lbs by the age of 18. I remember crying myself to sleep many of nights and feeling like a complete and utter failure and yet feeling totally helpless to stop eating. I hated my body and honestly I just hated myself for my lack of will power. I have been through 100’s of diet plans and even (OA) over eaters anonymous. This was my life from the age of 11-30. If I say it was living hell , it would not give it enough credit.
LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.
I wish I could tell you That I can remember a pivotal day that I said ENOUGH, I don’t want to live like this anymore.
Unfortunately, that was a daily ritual. It has been a very long journey of binging and deprivation cycles, desperation and lack of control over food.
I do remember the first time that I slowed down and started to enjoy food again. I remember when food no longer pacified my feelings and I remember the weight coming off effortlessly when I was not paying attention to it and hating myself.
I have been free of compulsive eating, mindless eating and binge eating for over 16 years now. The scale no longer moderates my feelings and my weight does not determine my state of happiness. but most importantly I was an obese out of control woman, who suffered and struggled and felt forgotten , rejected and unloved by society.
Life does NOT have to be this way.
I am living proof that you can love and accept yourself and lose weight. It is not helpless or hopeless and this is why I am so passionate about helping women like you, women like me regain their self-respect and peace around this issue.
This is why I got certified in holistic health, eating psychology, studied and mastered intuitive eating. It’s because we all deserve to live in peace. I do not have a magic pill , and I do not offer a product, but I am going to offer you tools and proven techniques to reduce your cravings, to stop dieting and start releasing real weight and to start loving yourself again.
If you have had enough of this binge/purge cycle and self-hate, reach out and click to contact me now.